Reads: Differences Between Men & Women

Names:
- If Laura, Suzanne, Debra & Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra & Rose.

- If Mike, Charlie, Bob & John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head & Scrappy.

Eating Out:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob & John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, & none will actually admit they want change back.

- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

Bathrooms:
- A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, & a towel from the Holiday Inn.

- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguments:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.

- Anything a man says after that, is the beginning of a new argument.

Future:
- A woman worries about the future, until she gets a husband.

- A man never worries about the future, until he gets a wife.

Success:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

Dressing Up:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, & get the mail.

- A man will dress up for weddings & funerals.

Natural:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they were when they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring:
- A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, & hopes & dreams.

- A man is vaguely aware that some short people are living in the house.